Dawn Breaks, The Monster Wakes​.​.​.

by Felix Hagan & The Family

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credits

released November 14, 2011

On all tracks:

Piano, drums, bass, electric and acoustic guitars, all keyboards, mandolin, ukulele, all percussion, violin, banjo and harmonica by Felix Hagan.

All vocals by Felix Hagan

On track 10 - Additional “Hip-hip hoorays” by Anita Hagan, David Hagan and Sanna Böhn

All songs written by Felix Hagan

Produced, mixed and engineered by Felix Hagan

Recorded at The F-Bomb Mobile Studio

Artwork by Sam Alder - www.plasticzoo.co.uk

Felix Hagan would like to thank Emma Dillon, Mum, Dad, Charlie and Iz, Steve and Mal, Alex Arkwright, Claire Toomer, Ian Crabbe, Tim Ridley, Giles Hooper, Phil Davies, Mike Jones, David Nott and everyone at The Manor, Neil Henry, Hugh, Benny, Tom and Franco, Ellie Cowan, Tash Hodgson and all residents, affiliates and habitués of The Bunker.

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Felix Hagan & The Family London, UK

Felix Hagan & The Family are a seven-piece beast made of makeup, hairspray and rock and roll. They fuse punk, rock, pop and musical theatre into a seamless, high-energy blend of genres, all held together by masterful musicianship and an outrageous desire to entertain. ... more

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Track Name: Dirty Little Urchin Child
Good evening, misadventure
Farewell morality
It’s time for another risky venture
Into the depths of depravity
So wrap your arms around me
And melt into my soul
And let your love surround me
Goodbye self-control!

Wait, what’s this?
Who’s this angel in our midst
As I feel my intestines twist
I am filled with this greed, so obscene
Draws my eyes
Like my pupils are magnetised
And all at once, to my surprise
I am caught up in your tractor-beam


So let the games begin
As the Romeos start to spin
Like a circling dorsal fin
Strikes the fear of the Gods into me
But hey-ho
Sink my dregs and here we go
After all you never know
Maybe someone is watching over me

But wait!
‘Cause she’s just another dirty little urchin child
Pirouetting gently in the light
Cranking out a chemically affected smile
Saying “Be one of us tonight”


Oh, you swine
You’ve got my brain caught on your line
Lightning crackles up my spine
Feel the waves of your charm soaking me
But oh yes
Here come the words that will impress
But my tongue won’t acquiesce
It just stuck in my throat, choking me

I’m drowning in these lurking perversions
Hurled from Hades, out for the night
For we are naught but servants and serpents
Curled round the ladies, waiting to bite
So scoop me up in your arms, so tender
Cloak me in your evil embrace
Steal my brain ‘til I can’t remember
Each inconsequential disgrace

And in the darkness
I scream and howl
To feel your grandeur surround me
And through the shadows
I sneak and prowl
I’m bewitched and oh, so profoundly.
So pardon me for waxing
Oh, so tense and unrelaxing
But your gay abandon’s maxing me out
So keep on theorising
Wantonly philosophising
I’m in love without a shadow of a doubt

And she’s just another dirty little urchin child
Pirouetting gently in the light
Cranking out a chemically affected smile
Saying “Be one of us tonight”

‘Cause she’s just another dirty little urchin child
Pirouetting gently in the light
Cranking out a chemically affected smile
Saying “Be one of us tonight”
Track Name: Hit The Ceiling (It's Freaking Me Out)
It’s freaking, it’s freaking, it’s freaking me out

Oh look, you’ve lost the plot again
Just like I knew you would
If you’re an angel in disguise
Then, I must say, it’s pretty good
It’s like you’re a ticking time-bomb
With two seconds on the clock
And I bet that dear old Lucifer
Would shoo you from his flock

And I’m feeling that any moment you might hit the ceiling
And it’s freaking me out
So pipe down and put the shovel and the shiny lead pipe down
‘Cause it’s freaking me out

Well I see your brows a-grumbling
Like two storm clouds in the east
Like the hungry stirring eyes
And twitching tail of the beast
Well, the demon’s edging closer
And I stand here, all perturbed
And I think we can agree
You seem to be slightly disturbed

I’m feeling that any moment you might hit the ceiling
And it’s freaking me out
So pipe down and put the shovel and the shiny lead pipe down
‘Cause it’s freaking me out

By candlelight I see a face in the night
And it’s adorned with a cutthroat scowl
And undoubtedly it’s come to tangle with me
So like lightning I throw in the towel
But despite my submission I feel a premonition
That the nightmare’s just begun
And as my blood goes cold I see the claws unfold
That’s it, my darling. I’m done

It’s freaking, it’s freaking, it’s freaking me out

And I’m feeling that any moment you might hit the ceiling
And it’s freaking me out
So pipe down and put the shovel and the shiny lead pipe down
‘Cause it’s freaking me out
It’s disturbing how the fuse on the missile’s burning
And it’s seeking me out
So pipe down and put the shovel and the shiny lead pipe down
‘Cause it’s freaking me out

It’s freaking, it’s freaking, it’s freaking me out
Track Name: I Can't Do Anything About It
I’d save you from this dragon if I could, my love
But the tower is way too high
I’ll place you in the arms of a hero darling and cry
If you gave me a shovel I would build you a home
If I knew the first thing about it
But right now my foundations are starting to groan
Held together with paper and spit

And as the walls are crumbling I am tumbling to the ground
And I can’t do anything about it

So give me the keys and I’ll wait outside and smoke myself into a hole
Weep and freak out as the timbers creak out of control
And if there were a way I would take you away
But it seems this complaint has waylaid us
A million miles from the faraway isles
And the drunken misfortunes that made us

And as the light’s despairing I am tearing at my skin
And I can’t do anything about it

So now I’ll retreat into childish conceit and regress ‘til I’m mentally five
And I won’t take a breath until you’re sat on my left and we drive
But for now I’ve no peace and a million seconds
Tick-tocking away in my brain
And my chest won’t release until we’re locked up again
In our magnificent minaret, miles away

And as the shadows are creeping I am weeping in the crowd
And I can’t do anything about it
No, I can’t do anything about it
And I can’t do anything about it
I can’t do anything about it
Track Name: Desperation Reeks
Well, it’s nighttime
And the streetlights glow upon a nightmare, citywide
When up walks the princess, a virginal beau
With make-up so crudely applied
And lo, he came a creeping like a great white shark
Resplendent in his voguish attire
And if she is the gunpowder he is the spark
A really quite dishonourable squire
And with one great rush there comes a big hot flush
Tiptoeing up her chest and her cheeks
And he’s revelling in the sweet aroma of sin
Because desperation reeks

So beautiful boy, she’s yours to destroy
What’s that in the distance? It’s evil ahoy
So beautiful boy, prepare to deploy
Your lecherous demons. They’re jumping for joy

Now swing! And he’s reeling her in
With oodles of treacherous charm
Wide-eyed, she’s engulfed by his grin
And eyes that scream, “Babe, I’ll do you no harm”
And she’s shot down by his amorous gun
She’s blinded by the light of his teeth
The seduction’s accomplished before it’s begun
‘Cause here comes the rumbling, the rumbling beneath
And here it comes.
She succumbs to his movingly perverse techniques
And with one little wink he goes to drink in the stink
Because desperation reeks

So beautiful boy, she’s yours to destroy
What’s that in the distance? It’s evil ahoy
So beautiful boy, prepare to deploy
Your lecherous demons. They’re jumping for joy

Slinking round the back, you are the greatest of your kind
Snared her with your villainy, so smooth and refined
Running around with the devil on your mind
You scrumpled up your scruples boy and left them behind
Here we go. Into the night
And you’re grooving like an amorous hound
You soak her with gin then come a-rumbling in
Because desperation, desperation, desperation Woah!

Beautiful boy, she’s yours to destroy
What’s that in the distance? It’s evil ahoy
So beautiful boy, prepare to deploy
Your lecherous demons. They’re jumping for joy
Oh, you glamorous man. It’s going to plan
Your sweet little lamb act is nought but a sham
So do your philandering just ‘cause you can
Because desperation, desperation, desperation reeks
Track Name: Sonny, Get My Knuckleduster
There’s a bad man jabbering, hammering
Clawing at the castle door
I’m inside with my eyes open wide
And I can’t take this anymore
Butterflies in my belly, I’m quivering like a jelly
It’s a veritable Sturm Und Drang
But the man in the yard slams his fist back hard
And the doors open up with a bang

And the loud noise wakes up Daddy
The trunk of the family tree
He comes to the door and says “Oh, my laddie!
You’ll wish you’d never messed with me.”

And he said, “Sonny, get my knuckleduster
‘Cause I refuse to stand for this
So get thee from my presence, buster
Or feel the steel clutched in my fist
So tremble fiend, and tremble rightly
For I beat creeps like you for fun
For I am old, but boy I’m sprightly
So get my knuckleduster, son.

But the bad man chuckles with the drink
And just stays there, standing his ground
Poor guy. He should just say goodbye
But he must be new in town
‘Cause round here all the people shake with fear
Because my Daddy is a frightening man
They know well that if my Daddy tells you to jump
You jump as high as you can

So you’d better gear up for some action
You’re dancing with disaster tonight
For I anticipate a reaction
And Papa’s anticipating a fight

And he said, “Sonny, get my knuckleduster
‘Cause I refuse to stand for this
So get thee from my presence, buster
Or feel the steel clutched in my fist
Of all the arms at my disposal
On you I wouldn’t waste my gun
So get ready for an ending, so ignoble
And get my knuckleduster, son
Oh yeah

And he said, “Sonny, get my knuckleduster
‘Cause I refuse to stand for this
So get thee from my presence, buster
Or feel the steel clutched in my fist
For I am the jury and the judge, you weasel
And I won’t stop until my task is done
So prepare for a different paradigm of evil
And get my knuckleduster, son.
Track Name: Calm Thee Down
Calm thee down, you heathen child
And leave the world behind
Your ceaseless, woeful blubbering
Is causing havoc behind my eyes
And I need some peace and solitude
On this, my lonely quest
So give your monstrous mithering a rest.
I’m off to dual with demons, boy
I’m off to fight a war
I’m setting off to see them off
They won’t annoy you anymore
And I’ll do it for the fatherland
Or something. I don’t know
So grant me some tranquillity for an hour or so.

Evil hordes fall at my hand
Folk shall know my name across the land
Upon this hill we make our stand
So pipe down, heathen, slow your breathing child, can’t you understand?

Calm thee down, vile serpent child
And cease your morbid song
My temperament is fraying
And I’m sure it won’t last very long
And I’m dying for some quietude
On this, my lonely quest
So do not put my patience to the test.

Oh, and I’m quivering with anger as my temperature climbs higher
This short abomination is engendering my ire
There are cannons in the distance
And the screams of those I fear
So quell your exclamations, because my retribution’s drawing near…

Evil hordes fall at my hand
Folk shall know my name across the land
Upon this hill we make our stand
So pipe down, heathen. Slow your breathing, child. Can’t you understand?

Oh… no.
Track Name: The Old Bear-Baiting Pit
Met her round the back of the old Bear-bating pit
Drinking gin as though your life depended on it
She said that “That’s my tipple son, but it don’t mean a lot to me.”
She said, “There ain’t no future in choosing life that I can see.”
So we kissed upon the hilltop and we danced through the night
I guess that you could say that it was love at first bite
But I was seeing double, Hey presto! A poor man’s ménage a trois.
And in the pale dawn drizzle I slurred my lovesick au revoir.
And then you sloped off to the bar

‘Cause you’re my gin-soaked lady
My single-serving baby
I loved it when you said you were mine
One night of drunken drama
With my Teflon-coated mama
And ever-after Dear, my heart is thine

Was there ever a young master as enamoured as I?
I sauntered round the hamlets with a glint in my eye
And as the menfolk cackled, my heart lay shackled on the floor
So I’ll bid farewell to these non-starters and head back to my inamorata’s door
But you’ll never guess the spectacle that greeted my eyes
It was my lady with some other lonely lad between her thighs
And my wedding plans were smashed amidst the bedding that they trashed, so readily
So you can find another guy to wallow in your sty instead of me
But I’m joking, babe

‘Cause you’re my gin-soaked lady
My single-serving baby
I loved it when you said you were mine
One night of drunken drama
With my Teflon-coated mama
And ever-after Dear, my heart is thi-i-i-iiiine, Oh yeah!

You’re my Circe, my Boudicca, my Juliet, my Jane
So damnably devoted to the grape and to the grain
And while I’m truly overjoyed that we could play this little game
I’m sure that come the dawn you’ll have forgotten my name

So to you, beautiful maiden, I extend my good thanks
And wearily consign you to the memory banks
And with a wink and a leer I attempt to steer myself home
To spend the next ten days just gazing melancholic at the phone

But it won’t ring, babe
‘Cause you’re my gin-soaked lady
My single-serving baby
I loved it when you said you were mine
One night of drunken drama
With my Teflon-coated mama
And ever-after Dear, my heart is thine
And though the tale is rather frightful
The cocktails were delightful
Of pain, fun, gin, rum, whiskey and wine
Track Name: Vengeance On My Mind
I set out from my bunker with four warriors in tow
Away across the killing ground a-marching we did go
Our minds were bent on sabotage and espionage and lo
Away across the killing ground a-marching we did go
We reached a burnt-out shell hole, whereupon we made our beds
And in night’s tender cradling arms we laid our weary heads
As darkness held us tight in myriad obsidian threads
Our lives were set upon a course that every soldier dreads
For fate was feeling fell that night and while we gently slept
A slimy serpent from our midst across the wasteland crept
He stood upon the precipice and breathlessly he leapt
Into the waiting arms of treachery. Our guardian angels wept
For months we’d battled, side by side, amidst the grizzled fold
And in his chipped and wizened heart such avarice took hold
That our lives were pawned for lucre, and with that our souls were sold
And with his words he damned us all for want of traitor’s gold

I awoke amidst a most disturbing tumult
Amongst the bodies of those in my keep
And smarting from this most perturbing insult
I solemnly began to shake and weep
But starting from this most abrupt reaction
My heart reformed to granite in my chest
It was not a time for sadness, more for action.
My soul would know revenge before its rest.

Through the noise and cloying mud, soaked in guilty wasted blood
I crawled the lonely mile, shuddering with enmity

The cannons boomed their harsh reveille as all around me such decay
Such monumental disarray abounded mightily

My thoughts were wrung with cruel intent, such vile sinful sentiment
And though my breath was all but spent I pressed on doggedly

The scent of death and burning hair jangled through the fetid air
And by the light of a signal flare I spied my enemy

You took what remains of my heart
You forced me down and watched me cry
Now all that remains for my part
Is vengeance on my mind. It will thrill me to watch you die

Upon a log he blithely sat, the scheming little sewer rat
I cursed the pair that e’er begat this vile corpse-to-be.

And praying to the Gods beneath I stuck my dirk betwixt my teeth
And drew my sabre from its sheath. It shimmered hungrily.

With one outright almighty cry, directed at the blood-red sky
I said “And now, foul shade, you die!” and my heart was filled with glee

He turned and quivered like a child, this worthless man that I reviled
And at his anguish I just smiled a grin of mastery

As fear chilled him to the bone, he loosed a final piteous groan
I took my sword and drove it home and cried victoriously

You took what remains of my heart
You forced me down and watched me cry
Now all that remains for my part
Is vengeance on my mind. It will thrill me to watch you die

His fellows, sleeping all around, as one rose as he hit the ground
And like a vicious pack of hounds they took their blades to me

It seemed as though my fate was sealed upon this broken bloody field
So I screamed out, behind my shield, my last soliloquy.

“Mark my words, and mark them well, foul devil in the depths of hell
With my final ragged yell, I give my soul to thee."
Track Name: Tooled-Up Soft Machine
Storm clouds abound in the land of my heart
And the war-cries fly from the company
But I have seen no quarter, my love
In the gaping maw of the enemy
So get your head down and go

We’ll run away and start again
Forget it, it’s too late for them
They didn’t heed the warning shot
While evil stole across the land
Their heads were buried in the sand
And now, my dear, I’m all you’ve got

So sing for the fallen
And dance for the damned
We’ll carve out their tale
On every heart in the land

So take my hand and we’ll leave tonight
We won’t look back until we’re out of sight
So get your head down and go

We knew that all this fun and games
Was another big fib to hide the chains
And now that façade has slipped
But I’m not content to waste my time
On this grisly old assembly line
So come on and crack that whip

And hung from the rafters
The stratagem swings
Born from the ashes
Of counterfeit kings

So take my hand and we’ll leave tonight
We won’t look back until we’re out of sight
So get your head down and go

Well I see with these old eyes of mine
The fearsome shadow on the battle line
That’s caught on the old barbed wire
But my sword is sharp, my wits are keen
I’m a brutal, tooled-up soft machine
Infused with a righteous fire

And while heroes may perish and armour may rust
And the memories of life blow away with the dust
I’ll gather you up in my tender embrace
And whisper my love as we fly away from this place

So take my hand and we’ll leave tonight
We won’t look back until we’re out of sight
Your heartbeat’s like thunder
You feel so alive
And while others are crumbling we shall survive
So take my hand and we’ll run away tonight.
Track Name: Just Like All The Rest
Hello, what’s this?
Another little weekday evening kiss?
Another little “nothing ever after”, nothing more?
And lo, but no! What bliss
Another jolly jaunt through the abyss
Another little knock-me-out and roll me out the door

By Christ, you are delectable
So hop up on to this pedestal
I’ll stick you up in pride of place
And with that you wound your tentacles
Around my lonely ventricles
And drew me into your embrace

And now, oh gosh, m’dear
What the devil happened to my year?
Another little digit on my lifespan, what a bore
And what once was fresh and green
Now marches in the ranks of the obscene
This whole transfiguration thing is such a chore

There was a time when men were hunters and kings
Hewn from granite, clothed in vanquished skin
But I am occupied by less valorous things
Like macchiatos and feathered hair
And just what brand of scent to wear
And I’m miles past the point of giving in

So don’t give me that look
You know you’ve got me wriggling on your hook
I am the ocean, clawing madly at your moon
And with one wanton whoop
I melt into a sycophantic soup
And all that’s left to do is giggle, fawn and swoon

Wait! Bugger this for a game of soldiers
I’ll save the misery ‘til I get older
So take your evil face away, okay?
Hold your tongue. Stop that snarling
And cease to darken my doorstep, darling
I’ll herald your departure with a great big hip-hip (Hip-hip!) hooray

So now I’m free of this
Get these shackles off my wrists
And show me something, show me anybody please
Another flavour of the week
Another bit of lipstick on the cheek
And here we go, “Hello, floor. Have you met my knees?”

There was a time when I would rush to decry
Those specimens that grunt and beat their chests
But now, my dear, the worm has turned and the truth is that I
Am ready for damnation, soaked in shame and perspiration
Oh, and baby, I am just like all the rest
Track Name: Best Thing Ever
I never cared much for enchanted things
I though that I alone could see the strings
And though I wish I couldn’t, that’s the truth
And in a flash, and a puff of smoke
As though it were some trifling little joke
My sense of wonder vanished with my youth

But let me tell you, boys and girls
Inside my head this chasm has unfurled
A dark void that’s filled with smoke and drink
If I could only bend these bars
And shoot out of the gutter into the stars
Then that would be the best thing ever
Don’t you think?

But every day it’s just the same
Stuck upon this bland corporeal plain
Marching to and fro ad nauseam
Forever weak and wondering
In this lonely safe I’m plundering
Are these the depths that I wish to plumb?

But if I could only burrow through
To some astounding parallel milieu
Filled with such delight I couldn’t bear to blink
Where I could let the firmament be
And fly in the face of humdrum gravity
Well, that would be the best thing ever
Don’t you think?

So I’ll click my fingers
Reduce these walls to splinters
And break out with a wail of ecstasy
Swoop down and grab my lady
And fly her off to safety
And sit her on my cloud, right next to me
And at my command
The seas will rise and swallow up the skies
And snow will land on desert sand, my dear
And at my softly whispered call
These ghastly prison walls will fall
And that will be the best thing ever
Whether we ever endeavour to weather the storm
If only I could control the weather
Then everything would be transformed


It’d be so perfect, my lady and I
My thunder and lightning would tear through the sky
The laws of the universe would no longer apply
And that would be the best thing ever
Whether we ever endeavour to weather the storm
If only I could control the weather…

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